Wondering what I scored on Christmas Day has been a mystery until this very moment!!!
Frat boys, American Apparel employees, ~*~*firstname.lastname@example.org, and all those that're too old to be "partying" with the latter, but are too weighed down in their date rape drugs to notice - EEERRR'BODY WAS PRESENT AT THIS GEM OF AN EVENT LAST NIGHT!!!!
The DJs prior to Ms. Ronson sounded like they stayed up sssuuuuuppper late one night, and taped their set off of Z103.5 (minus the DMX song, I liked that one!) but the real disappointment had nothing to do with the star of the event.
It was the lame crowd, full of overly stimulated babies that really irked me.
Between the teen girls who wore full-priced Urban Outfitters made-to-order outfits, and the 40 year old woman, who reminded me of Kim Cattrell in her "pant suit w/ exposed bra" phase, who was furiously hitting on me (FREE SMIRNOFF ICE FOR THE FAT CHICK IN THE BACK!!!!!) I had too much to take in, in order to do a proper "report back to you" blog entry!
Next time I'm put in a situation where I'm standing next to a VIP roped off leather couch area full of Bay Street movers and shakers, that look like they're strung out on PCP, I'll remember what I am fond of in life - SLOTHS AND ICE CREAM!!!
How badly has this mass shopping binge made me want a locket made out of hair?!?!?
WHY DOES THERE HAVE TO BE A FLAGSHIP STORE THAT ONLY SELLS FOOTWEAR DEDICATED TO BOTH GARDENING, AND LOOKING LIKE A TURD - YET I HAVE TO RESORT TO USING MY CREDIT CARD TO GET GEMS LIKE THIS!?
I have decided that I am going to pursue my desire to be in a band again.
If you have yet to hear the hilarious story involve myself, High Park, and two girls doing their best "Robin Black" - let me spare you!
9:00pm: Hopped into a cab, as I was late to meet up with my posse with impeccable style. Anderson and Sanderson!
9:01pm: Realized that I had been granted the opportunity to sit in THE CAB OF ALL CABS.
When did gmail give me the option of being a total girl!?!?! SLOTH FRIDAAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THINK BONGZILLA, BUT MIXED WITH THIS LEDERHOSENED BARN YARD ANIMAL:
STYLISTA IS ON TONIGHT!
FROM THE PROMOS IT LOOKS LIKE DANIELLE HAS A "FAT CHICK IN A SKINNY GIRL'S WORLD" BREAK DOWN!!!!
I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!
SMIRNOFF CAME OUT WITH A MOJITO COCKTAIL MIX!?!?!?!?!??!
I WAS SENT A FREE BAR OF SOAP IN THE MAIL TODAY!?!?!?!!?!??!?!
THE ONLY THING I'M ASKING FOR FOR CHRISTMAS IS A TRIP TO THE DENTIST!?!?!?!?!
I'M THE ONLY APARTMENT IN MY COMPLEX WITHOUT SOME FORM OF FESTIVE DOORMAT!?!??!?!
WHAT HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED FROM THIS BLOG YET?
MY 4-H GOIN', MONTREAL LIVIN', LADY FOOT PERVIN' FRIEND, GRAHAM LESLIE, DREW THIS MASTERPIECE BACK IN THE DAYS OF YORE.
I WILL BE FOREVER PROUD TO CALL THIS YOUNG MAN A FRIEND, AS HE HAS MORE TALENT THAN HE KNOWS WHAT TO DO WITH - THIS GUY INTIMIDATES THE SHIT OUT OF ME FOR THAT REASON, BUT I THINK I SCARE HIM TOO (DUH!!!), SO WE COO'.
READ MY DAMN BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Victoria's Secret is being accused of manufacturing bras responsible for injuring customers, causing rashes, hives and even permanent scarring, according to a lawsuit filed in Ohio.
37-year old Roberta Ritter filed the lawsuit against the company May 14, claiming the Angels Secret Embrace and Very Sexy Extreme Me Push-Up bras she purchased made skin erupt in red, itchy welts.
In an interview with ABC News, Ritter complained, "I had the welts ... very red, hot to the touch, extremely inflamed, blistery. It itched profusely. I couldn't sleep, waking up itching."
Ritter's lawyers they had similar bras tested at a lab which revealed they contained formaldehyde.
A Victoria's Secret spokesperson said the company is investigating the complaints and released this statement:
"We are sorry that a small number of people have had an issue and we want to help them determine the cause. Customer safety and satisfaction are always our primary concerns and we take seriously any issues our customers may have with our products."
Ritter's lawyers claims they've been contacted by dozens of other women who have experienced similar problems and hope to be part of a class action lawsuit.
AS IF I HAD THE TIME TO SIT DOWN AND WRITE A "NEWS STYLE" STORY ABOUT SOME BITCH WHO HAD AN ALLERGIC REACTION TO A DEVICE THAT'S AROUND SO THAT DUDES CAN LOOK DOWN YOUR SHIRT!?!?!?!?
I TOTALLY STOLE THE ABOVE ARTICLE FROM KTLA.COM
THANKS CHUMPS!!!!!!!!! SEE Y'ALL AT THE CHRISTMAS PARTY!!!!!!
Songs that you used to make you go nuts in high school, that now make you dry heave in embarassment........311!!!
The colder the temperature gets, the dumber/more aggressive/scary the people who use the TTC get.
I boarded, and was immediately shoved towards one of those 'brones that leans up against the whole subway pole. This bitch wasn't just gingerly holding onto the rail like the unspoken rules say you should - nope!!! She was doing the full on "I hope no one else needs to hold onto this pole as we jostle along to our destination - cause my privileged side needs aaalllllllll-o-dis" stance.