IT'S "calienté," DUUUUHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Because our economy is going through some rough times, I've decided to do my part for society.

Instead of going home after work, and sulking into a deep plate of sour cream laden nachos, I SIGNED MYSELF UP FOR A CLINICAL RESEARCH STUDY!!!!!

I'm not sure what prompted me to tell my mom about my latest financial endeavours - as the story goes, I get fistfuls of cash in exchange for them pumping weirdo pills into me - but it's safe to say, the woman who bore me in her sweet womb for 9months wasn't too pleased to hear my news.

Dearest friends, family, and others - please relax, and trust that I know what my oddly shaped body can, and cannot handle.

I have specifically chosen this study, as it is deemed in my mind, "child's play."

As any student-themed lifestyle livin' semi-adult, I read the classified section in the weeklies from time to time.

I see the studies egging you into taking uncertified allergy medication.

Or the studies involving pet dander, and it's direct correlation with your blood stream.

DUDES - I'M NOT SLOW!

Myyyyyyyyy study - will see me ingesting ONE dosage of Ritalin, and then once the physician thinks it's time, THEY FEED ME JUNK FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SORRY GUYS - LIFE BELONGS TO ME THIS TIME!!!