28.6.10

What we're all thinking, but only this guy is saying....sort of



I'm so sick of people slamming the cops, dude!
One of the most kind-hearted, genuine people I know is a cop.
I think that people just need to get it through their thick skulls that unless you're working for a not-for-profit organization, someone out there hates you, and the company you work for.
The dip shits who do the whole "where do you work?!" routine razz me all the time about where I'm getting my paycheck from!
SO WHAT IF I WORK FOR A TELEVISION STATION THAT NO LONGER APPEALS TO YOUR DEMOGRAPHIC!?!?!?! SUCK IT UP, AND START WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL IF IT BUGS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! I APOLOGIZE IF I LOVE MY COWORKERS, AND DON'T DREAD COMING INTO WORK EVERYDAY!! SCREW OFF, AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WHINE ABOUT!
(sorry for being such a raging bag of skin - I'm blaming it on the colossal amount of mosquito bites I'm now sporting thanks to this weekend's camping trip)

18.6.10

Nothing out there beats Jadeite!

If I could secure millions of dollars so that everything in my home could a) be jadeite, or b) coordinate perfectly w/ my extensive collection of jadeite, you can bet your sweet bippy I'd do it in a heartbeat!
ENJOY IT, DUDES!
I'll never be able to afford it!






17.6.10

I CAN'T STOP FINDING GOLDMINES!!!!



BOTH FROM IDONTLIKEMONDAYS.US

WHOAWHOAWHOA...MATINA AMANITA





WAY TO BE, THAILAND!!!!!!!

Furlong, Edward

Everything (minus the clog - which is the trend of the summer I just can't wrap my head around...YOU'RE A HORRIBLE SPREAD FROM YM CIRCA 1995, GUYS!!! STOP MAKING YOURSELF LOOK SO DOWDY!!) in the picture you're about to see is an absolute dreamboat of a foot vessel.

I think I can honestly count the number of Bottega Veneta shoes that I would thumb my nose at, on my right hand.

HOW COULD YOU SAY NO TO THESE ENTERING YOUR LIFE??!!

Would you not bound out of bed each morning, and make it your mission to create an outfit so complimentary, that you'd probably try and justify becoming one of those lookbook teens that take self-portraits every chance they get!??!?!

(and if wearing these creations meant the occasional topple-over on the streetcar, as it lurches forward in the morning - I'D TAKE IT!)






And maybe you could bare with me as I share with you my favourite photo (until I check Daily Puppy of course, and my mind will rapidly sway towards the cute Chow Mix who's staring back at me)...it reminds me of my grandmother and her affinity for fancy soaps that don't get used, but rather DISPLAYED.

14.6.10

Only the interesting ones are monochromatically dressed

Keeping up with your split ends
Manicures/Pedicures
Lady Shoes (and learning how to walk in them so you don't resemble a baby calf)
Stretch Marks
Exfoliating
Eyebrow Maintenance
Smelling Nice
Matching/Purposely Unmatched Accessories
Refraining From Eating The Last Timbit

I TURN ONE YEAR OLDER TOMORROW!
I think that as I age, birthdays are getting more and more exciting for me.
This is how I was feeling on my 7th birthday when I was gifted with not one, but TWO pogo balls:
And this is me, in anticipation for tomorrow:

Please shower me with presents (bouquets, candy, and trips to the country where there are ponies awaiting us)


2.6.10

Adult Dreams

STRIPED WALLS!!
HUGE ORNATE MIRRORS LEANED UP AGAINST SAID STRIPEY WALL
HAMILTON BEACH HALF-PINT SOFT SERVE ICE CREAM MAKER THE HOUSE DOCTOR SPRING 2010 CATALOGUE