Songs/Videos that will never get old

Dailymotion - Tom Petty - Running Down A Dream, a video from aaa9985. tom, petty, running, down, dream - Watch more Music Videos at Vodpod.

COMPILING MY CHRISTMAS LIST!

Have you ever thought what it would be like to be wealthy?!
I'm sure taxes would be a bitch, but the idea of seeing something you like, and not having to hmmmm and haaaahhhhh about how you'll have to budget for the next 8 months, in order to afford it - MUST BE NICE!

I think it's about time I stumble upon a lost wallet.
A lost wallet, in a manila envelope...addressed to me...with several $500 bills just chillaxin' in it.

ratatatat white cheese

OH HEY, YOU GOT THE SUMMER OFF TOO?!

Not the crazy in the neighborhood anymore

Starbucks sandwiches and I could become pretty tight if I had an unlimited budget for that kind of thing. Although the mysterious "Italian Cheese" that was one of my bud's main ingredients kind of has me trippin'. What are you trying to say, Starbucks? That I'm not knowledgeable enough to know my cheeses? That my scope isn't capable of handling another variety of cheese?! That my oggling the cheese counter at my local grocery store is just my dumb way of not trying to learn about additions to the cheese world, but instead to just add a few extra contours to my soft physique?!

following in the internet's footsteps!

http://www.theuniformproject.com/

DUDE - I HATE NOT HAVING A COMPUTER TO SPEW FROM!!!

Don't fret, cronies!
Although I completely understand if you've forgotten who I am, my sitch will be changing in a mere day and a bit. After that I will be tappa tappa-ing on my keyboard about my day to day on what will seem like a half hour basis.
CONSTANT FUNGO UPDATES...TOO MANY TO COUNT.

Where the sidewalk ends

I'm not one for excessive talk when it comes to celebrity gossip.
Sure I'm game when the conversation veers towards how Kirsten Dunst's teeth look like Chiclets, or when people are snorting over how ugly Fergie's clothes are.
But what's really got me upset...that these pros are calling it a day!

Sloth on a Date @ Yahoo! Video

SLOTHS!!!!

She's so pwitty....

Dude - it's like I'm in another universe these days.
Weekend street cruisers are dressing like morons!
No joke, I was waiting for the light to change, and I was faced with a teen boy wearing the following outfit that made my ovaries scream (in pain):
light coloured acid wash jeans, florescent high tops, a teeny shirt akin to those available at La Senza Girl, and a jew fro the size of a Pomeranian.
Sloth updates, tales from the subway, and stories about how badly I need a new bike seat....comin' up!!!

shallow ladyparts

Workin' on a Saturday...the curse of the broad who never seems to make enough money to match her lifestyle.
Beautiful weather outside, classical 96.3 inside.
Not to be a total hippy, but the seasons are a changin', bro!!!
It went from being violently windy, making it almost impossible to bike to and from work, to shockingly beautiful "walking around/maybe i'll take the long way home" weather in a matter of a week, which always brings out the HOLYSHITERRR'ONEGETDOWNTOQUEENSTREETANDWALKSIDEBYSIDEWITHYOURGAGGLEOFLOUDFRIENDS!!! in everyone.
While waiting for dinner last night, I noticed that this change had allowed everyone to step just sliiiightly out of their wardrobe comfort zone, for the first time in 2009.
Girls were wearing ridiculously tall shoes, and dudes were feeling confident enough in their selection of grotesquely silk screened blazer, that they were able to begin throwing out pickup lines to the girls teetering on S/S '09 footwear.
SEE Y'ALL IN THE PARK WITH MAH BIG GULP SLURPEE!!!!

Memories

Only a month and a bit until I bid farewell to my cocoon of an apartment.
I've learned a lot from this apartment:
- the whistle that the drug dealer in the alley behind my window uses
- when you're neighbours with the couple that run the convenience store across the street, you get sweet deals when you're in a financial / emotional rut
- I will NEVER AGAIN live in a place without a bathtub
- having more than one window in the summer months is a luxury that I've lived without for far too long
- when the microwave is within arms distance from your bed, you know there's some rearranging to be done
- kitty litter gets EVERYWHERE in a small, cramped space

Perhaps one day I will have a few of these galloping around my yard?!
SOONER THAN YOU THINK, Y'ALL!!!!
BACKYARD BBQ SEASON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's gonna be alllllllllriiiiight!

If my tax return actually had any "return" to it....

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Does anyone with time on their hands, and access to a lot of free printing supplies want to make up a few business cards for me?!

PIZZA LUVR
www.alexismclaren.blogspot.com

I'M A NETWORKING MACHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes this is all I have room for in my brain....

Would You Ever Date A Mentally Retarded Person? from Pot Psychology on Vimeo.

Day off #2

Parental (fridge) units

Growing up, I was in and out of the hospital, for on average a week at a time, at least twice a year, every year, for 12 years.
I had a reflux kidney, which pretty much boiled down to feeling like the most intense UTI you've ever had in your life.
Every time I went into the hospital, my classmates got to dedicate an entire day of classes to making me sweet "get well soon" cards (that are still floating around in my parent's basement somewhere).
Needless to say, I became pretty accustomed to atmosphere, and accompanying dreaded hospital smell.
I thankfully grew out of the condition when I hit my teen years.
Overall though, I was never scared of the hospital.
To me, it was a place where the really nice nurses hung out with you, you got to watch copious amounts of television in bed, and there was always at least one serving of jello a day!!!!
SCORE!
Now fast forward to Friday night, when I revisited my relationship with my friend, "hospital."
This time I was on the other side - the visitors chair.
I dread being a visitor at the hospital.
Every time I've been a visitor, the moment I walk through the automatic doors, I begin the bawl.
Perhaps my negative feelings sprout from the time I visited my grandfather in the hospital, when I was about 8.
He had just suffered a heart attack, and was recovering nicely.
I clutched my mother's hand as we entered the building.
We took the elevator to the appropriate floor, and made our way to his room.
When we got there, we were faced with an empty bed.
Confused, my mother stopped the first nurse to walk by.
"Do you happen to know where Mr. Ballingall is?" my mom asked.
"He's gone! He left us over an hour ago," the nurse said, very bluntly.
Now - to an 8 year old's ears the phrase "he's gone" means "he's passed on." When really, good ol' gramps was probably already out on the golf course, or washing his sweet Cadillac at the car wash.
Anyway, back to my spinning, young mind, that thinks that her beloved grandfather has bitten the bullet, without having the chance to say goodbye.
My bottom lip starts quivering, and I begin my routine of tears, and run into the nearest stairwell.
The nurse joins me on the step, and begins to assure me that her choice of words were simply poorly chosen, and that my grandfather will be fine.
She then went on to add:
"You know - your grandfather is lucky to have a grandson that cares about him, as much as you do!"
(Perhaps an important side note: Throughout my career as a kid, my mom always found it convenient for me to have the ever popular mushroom cut, as it was easily managed, and with me being a total tomboy - why not?!)
I stood up, gave the nurse the most disgusted face that an 8 year old girl who's just been called a boy, can give, and stormed out of the stairwell.

HAPPY FEW DAYS OFF, EVERYBODY!!!!

Automobills

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIVIENNE WESTWOOD!!!!!!

"What's your name, lil' angel?" "Cassandra.....TAXIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

The most exciting thing that happened to me this weekend? Finding something to take the mold/mildew off the ceiling of my shower. The heaven's have sung, and the title of their song is Tilex.

Thank you, Guy Anderson, for sharing your YouTube searching expertise with me on that faithful Friday night. What started out as an innocent attempt at going to this:
Fri Apr 3, 8:00 pm - Sat Apr 4, 3:00 am
Motown Party @ 751, 751 Queen St. W Motown swingin' and some remix action-$5
turned into a very crammed location, with teenage girls who'd never heard of the simple hairstyle, entitled "the ponytail."
When your hair is sticking to me?! It's time for me to jet!
Embarassingly enough, that was probably the first time I've been to a crowded bar, in a few monthes...which leads me to a challenge that has been given to me:
Once the weather gets nice, I will be throwing myself into a different social situation, at least once a week, in hopes that I can meet people, who I will eventually want to befriend.
I totally need to do this, but it's also beginning to freak me out.
You see, going out and "making friends" never really works for me. I usually make sure that I know at least two people at an event, and then I coast with them. Having people to latch onto (although I'm sure it annoys the shit out of them), really helps me not flip out when in public.
SO LOOK OUT FOR ME, TORONTO!!!!!
I'll be the one hyperventilating in the corner, trying to woo potential bros.

Looking back

Bro, I'm stiiiilll dreaming about that burger that probably cost me 3 years of my life, earlier this week!
Now whenever I find myself debating on what to eat for lunch and/or dinner, I'm reminded of that mountainous brick of glorious burger.
Sure the weather is starting to change, and yeah - I know that means that I'll be faced with not having the luxury of hiding behind 4 layers of clothing.
But maybe if I explained myself to everyone that passes me:
"I'm usually more buff than this, I've just developed this wicked burger habit! I hope you understand?!"

Since that faithful burger night, I have attended 69 Vintage Buy The Pound's birthday party, where thanks to Guy Anderson, I walked away with a sweet NAVY SUEDE BLAZER.
HHAAAAPPPPPYYYY BBIIRRTTHHHDDAAAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I later found it that it was previously owned by a Real Estate agent, as I shoved my hands in the pockets, to reveal a ReMax pin, or two....)
I have also the daunting task of packing up all of my shit. Living in the same dinky bachelor apartment for 4 years has made me that master of making every inch of that space occupied.
In the next 2 months, let me know if you're in need of anything relating to living in small quarters. I may pout, and insist that I need two blenders, but just kick me in the shins, and take the shittier blender.

IT MAY BE RAINING OUTSIDE, BUT WE'RE WATCHING VIDEOS ALL ABOUT PIGLETS IN THIS PIECE!!!!!!

I'm gonna be needin' one of dem wands to dial the phone soon.....

I don't believe I've ever eaten something so bad for me, that the feeling of heartburn, when I'm still in the process of ingesting, was as bad as it was last night.
I'll go into more detail when my fingers don't feel like they're made of bacon, and cheese.

Ode to Moshzilla...

Forever amused...
Please go here, here, and here.

Finder's Fee round 2309206

HELP ME FIND THIS WALLET!!!!!

Double. Dribble.

Having never been to a basketball game before, I was unaware of the bred of human being that attends such an event!
There was the robust dude in the Mexican wrestling mask shouting "DEFENCE!" whenever one of those catchy sports-related songs came over the PA, whether it be cotton eye Joe, the hamster dance, or one of Sean Paul's classics.
There were the shirtless 12 year old boys, who had an extreme love of the game, and in sheer excitement removed their shirts, and began whipping them over their heads.

There was also a portion of the game dedicated to audience participation, where a dozen or so beach balls were thrown into the crowd, and it was the job of the particular section you were sitting in, to keep your beach ball in you designated area. Too bad that whichever dunce bumped ours out of our area was then pelted with the chant "S'ALL YOUR FAULT!! S'ALL YOUR FAULT!!"

WHO THE FUCK CARES THAT I DIDN'T WIN A TRIP FOR TWO TO ANYWHERE AIR CANADA FLYS, AS THEY VERY STUPIDLY DIDN'T CHOSE ME TO A 3-POINTER SHOOT-OFF CHALLENGE?!?!
Since our team scored more than 100 points, WE GOT FREE PIZZA, Y'ALL!!!!
It must be soul crushing to the professional athletes, when all you can hear being yelled from the crowd is "PIZZA!! PIZZA!! BOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU GUYS SUCK AT THIS!!!!PIZZA!!!PIZZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I will have buckets to update during my next post, as tonight's activities include a birthday dinner at Hooter's, 20x the points at Shopper's Drug Mart, and a trip to the 'rippers with Heather Sanderson, and Guy Anderson.

HOLLA!!!!!!!!!!

SLOTH FRIDAY!!!

Teens in the background (please watch the link I provided - it will rocket you back to grade 10!!)

DID YOU KNOW THAT A TTC DAY PASS (ON A WEEKDAY) IS ONLY GOOD FOR ONE ADULT?!?!
AS OPPOSED TO EITHER SATURDAY, OR SUNDAY, WHEN IT'S GOOD FOR TWO ADULTS, OR ONE ADULT WITH A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF CHILDREN BEING ABLE TO TAG ALONG BEHIND YOU!??!?

WAS IT REALLY NECESSARY FOR THE DUDE BEHIND HIS GLASS CHAMBER TO IMPATIENTLY KNOCK AT ME, AS I SO GRACIOUSLY INVITED ANOTHER ADULT TO ENJOY THE COMFORT OF A DAY PASS ALONGSIDE ME!??!?!?!

Too bad, yo - I would rather have paid my $9 to see this:


I just came in from watching He's Just Not That Into You with my dear friend, Heather Sanderson.
WHATEVER, JOCKS!!! I TOO, CAN ENJOY A MOVIE GEARED TOWARDS THE SENSITIVE FEMALE EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE.....so what if the movie totally blew, and the only points worth mentioning are the following?!?!?!

the PROS would include:
- the sweet coupon that enabled us free movie snacks, as well as the opportunity to train the young man behind the concession stand, who is now fully learned on how to accept coupons, in exchange for lardy treats.
- getting to catch up with Heather, who had been kickin' it in Utah for the past few months!

the CONS would have to be:
- being seated dangerously close to an overly hormonal teen couple.
- watching Scarlett Johanson trying to look natural with a full head of pony hair stapled onto her stump of a head

All in all....I would give it 3 MadChild's (chud on the left) out of a possible 10.
BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME, DREW BARRYMORE!!!!!

FIIIIINNAALLLYYYYYYY

Remember the time...

when I placed an ad on Craigslist - wanting to be a part of a band....ANY BAND!!
An agreement was reached between a nice sounding individual, and myself, that I would meet them outside of Coxwell station, and I would in turn, "jam" with their band.
Never was the topic of musical genres approached, so I was left in the dark regarding what I would be faced with.
The mystical day came around, and I gussied myself up to the enth degree.
Nervously, I stood at Coxwell station, until I saw them.
Moon boots.
Red, goth moon boots - attached to an eerie looking goth chick with those neon dread extensions.
"OK," I thought.
"Maybe she's the one who dares to remain her 1998 self - until the end of time. MAAAYYBBEEEE, everyone else in the band will look like me?!?"



I was faced with an electronic drum kit, and a basement apartment full of fishnet
E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!!!!!!!
I sucked it up, and endured the 3 hour practice.



IN OTHER NEWS!
The Pussycat Dolls are rehearsing over my head, and I think I've heard that EAR BLEEDINGLY BAD "Jai Ho" song more than necessary
Some dude who works nearby just walked by muttering, "Stupid broads aren't even Irish"

HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY, GUYS!!!!!!!!!!

I bought a BIIIIIKKKKEEEE!!!!!!!!!

MOVE OUT OF MY WAY, ERRR'ONE!!!!!!!!!
SOME BITCH IS MOVING TO LOS ANGELES, AND THAT MEANS I BOUGHT HER DUMPY-ASSED 21 SPEED BICYCLE!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S 20 MORE SPEEDS THAN I AM ACCUSTOMED TO, BUT I'M SURE I'LL DO SOMETHING WITH THEM!?
I'LL START BY MAKING MY OWN PASTA, STRINGING IT OFF MY SWEET NEW HANDLEBARS, AND DEDICATE ONE OF MY SPEEDS TO DRYING THE PASTA, COOL?!
THEN MAYBE I'LL TAKE UP POTTERY, AND USE ONE OF THE SPEEDS ON MY BIKE TO POWER THE KILN.....
IT'S ALL UP IN THE AIR...LEMME GET BACK TO YOU!!!
STILL - MY IMPORTANT MESSAGE FOR THOSE TRYING TO JAYWALK DOWN SPADINA - WAAATTTCCHHH OOOUUUTTT!!!!!!!

Polishing Fists (don't even think about making it your band name, loser!)

Have you ever had one of those mornings where you wake up with time to spare, decide to do your hair a different way, and it turns out wickedly, and then you put on a wicked face of makeup, and feel like a total babe on the way to work?!
Yeah - shit is falling into place this morning!

SLOTHS TO FOLLOW...I'm just going to keep looking at myself in the mirror for a bit, jah?!

FREE AT LAST!!!!!!!!!

REJOICE, Y'ALL!!

CHECK OUT ROLF...IN DIAPERS

AMONG OTHER THINGS!!!!!!

For those of you who frequent the "Theatuuuhhhh"....

Do certain things throughout the production bug you so much, that you find yourself totally distracted, and unable to concentrate on the play itself?
I'm not much of a cultured soul, I will admit it - but when the middle aged woman behind you is chortling CONSTANTLY for over 2 hours, and SO CLOSE to your fuckin' head, you can feel her warm, smug breath against your neck every time she lets out a guffaw!!?!?!?!??!
UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Sure, perhaps I didn't get the same obscure James Joyce reference that you do - but YOU PAID FOR A WHOLE SEAT....USE IT!!!!!!! Don't go breathin' down my neck, like I want to feel how amused you are with the production!
My thumbs go up to the costume and set designers, as that kept my mind off of smacking a certain someone sitting behind me.
I also noticed that there was a Robert Munsch themed play being put on in the same theatre....maybe I'm more cultured than I had previously thought!

I've found my match!!!!

SWIMMING AT 7:00am AND I GO HAND IN HAND, JUST LIKE THESE BROS.
Finding something so magical, and so early on in my second coming of attempting to swim laps on a regular basis - S'TOUGH, BUT SOOOOO REWARDING!!!
Now when I raise from my 6:30am slumber, I am faced with:
- MINIMAL OLD MEN DOING BACK CRAWL IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LANE.
- ONLY A FEW JOCKS (they stick to their ultra fast lane, perhaps in order to totally look like they're "feelin' the burn," all at the same time) TO PRETEND TO BE IMPRESSED BY THEIR SUPER INTENSE WORKOUT ROUTINE.
- A POOL THAT HASN'T BEEN FOULED YET...wait until the 4:00pm crowd gets there, everyone!!! EVERYONE OUTTA THE POOOOOL!!!!!
LOOKS LIKE MY ROUTINE FOR 2009 WILL HAVE ME GOING TO BED AT 8:00pm, AND WAKING UP AT 6:00am!!!!
SEE YA NEVER!!!!

SLOTH....SATURDAY!

Aerobics torture

I went to my first aerobics class of 2009 on Wednesday, and seeing as it's Friday today - and I still can't walk properly?!?
I was a nervous wreck leading up to Wednesday, as in my mind, the class would be filled with Lulu Lemon types, all wearing their matching yoga outfits, to compliment their already perfect bodies.
Needless to say, I was pleased to be joined in this class by women in their 40s, alongside some women who looked just as clueless as I did, trying to keep up with our choreographed routine of squats, and fancy kicks.
If things keep going this way, it looks like I'll be cast into Fat Joe's new video.
All I have to do is get over this hump of not being able to tie up my own shoes......OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

TO THE HERO WHO STOLE MY LUNCH OUT OF THE FRIDGE AT WORK,

THANKS!

Anyone can spell gut rot

In my dreams, people wouldn't write like deranged children when they're conversing on the internet.
BETCH. ROFLOMGLOLZOMFG. MSTRKRFT.
SHUT UP ALREADY!
Y'all able to sit upright for more than 30 seconds?!
"F'realz"
Quick!!!!
OVER HERE!!HARD HITTING NEWS!!!!!!!!

!!!!

I JUST WROTE AN EMAIL TO MINK STOLE, ASKING HER IS SHE COULD HELP ME WITH MY HAIR!!!!!!!!

Glub Glub

I'M GLAD SO MANY PEOPLE COMMENTED ABOUT MY HILARIOUS "NINE INCH SNAILS" FIND....TOUGH CROWD!!!

In the past few days I have:- seen the new 3D Jonas Brothers movie
- dropped my hairbrush in the toilet, more than once!
- watched my very first full episode of Star Trek: TNG
- visited hell on earth (ServiceOntario office at College/Bay)
- experienced brunch at the Cluck, Grunt, and Low (sttiiillll drrroooooollling, yo)
- surpassed my fear of eating sauerkraut
- watched this clip more than I have ever thought possible

blog

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Searchers fee for this one too!!!

So there are more than a few "formal events" that I have to attend in the next few months, and I need some assistance tracking down a hairstyle.
I was rewatching Pink Flamingos yesterday, and it struck me that Mink Stole has perhaps the most desirable hair on the planet...and the particular style I'm looking to recreate doesn't seem to be on the internet - ANYWHERE.

If you're familiar with the movie - it's the scene where she, and Raymond are sucking each others' toes in bed....WANNAFINDMEASTILLOFTHATSCENE!?!?!?!??!?!!

HELP ME FIND THIS FABRIC!!!!!!!!!!!

I am desperate to make curtains from this fabric!!!
I WILL EVEN PAY YOU A FINDERS FEE!!!!!!
TROLL TOILE!?!??!
Someone knows what they're doing on this planet!!!!!!

Home Depot Is For Lovers

Inevitably, anywhere you went last night you were crammed to the tits in a small space with overly lovey-dovey couples.
EXCEPT FOR HOME DEPOT!!
Only a select few couples were choosing bathroom tile, and comparing paint chips with one of my dearest and I on a Saturday night.
If I were you, I would bookmark my genius suggestion for next Valentine's Day evening, when you want to escape a bar full of gropers.
SHoooot - I'll even help you carry home that 20lbs. bag of potting soil!!

CREEPED OUT!

WHO DOES THIS!!!!!?!?!?!?!??!!!

Love Love Love Love....

Instead of showing us what sucks about Valentine's Day (re: above), I will drape my wonderful blog with things that make my heart not split in half.....

Rodel LA
MADONNA!!!
Diana Vreeland's flawless everything
expensive things
conversely - stuff that wouldn't get me laughed at

a pre-valentine's day gift from me to you

duh

growgrowgrowgrowgrowgrowgrowgrow

1pm. Numb face. AGAIN.

WORST MAN ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!!!!!!!!!!!!!

daily puppy

My mom is probably the furthest thing from computer literate, and my dad likes to mess with her, almost on a daily basis.
She understands the power button, and she knows how to drag the mouse on over to the Internet Explorer icon.
But when she's used to Google being her homepage, and my dad has taken it upon himself to change it to daily puppy....SHIT'S GONNA FLY!!!!!!!!!!!
Have you been to this site?!
It's as if time has suspended itself, and all we're left to look at are pictures of tubby young pups frolicking in the snow.

family gatherings

I'm envious of those of you who are friends with members of your extended family.
I've heard stories of cousins being best friends with one another, or tales of how you went to your aunts house for the weekend..."just to hang."
This afternoon, for the first time in about 10 years, my family was invited to a "reunion" of sorts.
My mom's side of the family is full of successful post-baby boomers, who hold their high power jobs in super high regard.
Topics of conversation over the course of a few hours went something like this:
- luxury cars
- time shares
- how many hockey/basketball games everyone has been to this season
- renovations
- golf courses in Ontario
Maybe it was all the talk of upcoming opportunities to buy out a percentage of an outsiders timeshare, or maybe it was my super uncomfortable, super conservative outfit that was very forcefully suggested that I wear to this event - but MAN WHADDASNORE!!!!
I had hopes for one member of the family, a cousin who plays jazz guitar (you've gotta work with what you're given, ok?!?!) - but perhaps in the years since we've been formally invited to a family function, he's changed his opinions on life.

I need a gym buddy ASAP

For some reason the bitter cold just makes me want to go home after a long day of work, and eat pasta.
MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION ISN'T WORKING OUT, AND IT'S SCARING MEEEE!!!!!!!
I ONLY HAVE UNTIL JUNE TO GET BACK TO MY ORIG. WEIGHT, AND I'M NERVOUS THAT I WILL COMPLETELY FAIL!!!!!
Ever noticed that the second you have it in your mind that you want a particular item (flat stomach, new ipod, KFC), you get on the subway and EVERYONE has what you want!?!?!
This morning I boarded my subway car, feeling totally Michelin man in my puffy sweater/huge jacket combo, and somehow EEEVVVVEEERRRYYYYOOOONNNEEEEE else seemed to look totally svelte in their winter gear.


SICK

OF

IT

!!!!!

duuuuuuuuuuuude!

I ALMOST FORGOT!!!!

Luxurious items in U.S. dollars

I'm staying at my parents this weekend, as both of their birthdays happen to be one after another.
SWEET!!
After the initial "home for the weekend" routine has taken place (long hot bath, laundry, scour the fridge for expensive cheeses), the next step is to sit with the family in the living room, and catch up with my good friend catalogue.
Restoration Hardware
Neiman Marcus
Horchow
Hammacher Schlemmer
I'm busy for hours, looking at things I could never afford!

In other news, cutting my hair is a thing of the past.
Soon, my mammoth hair will swallow my neck, and the only accessory I will need is conditioner.

>:(

Putting together an IKEA bed, without instructions, can make the world turn into the slowest moving, most crabby place in seconds.
The heat is on too high, there isn't enough light, you suddenly have to pee, but your old mattress is blocking the bathroom door......I figured out the answer to all of the aforementioned problems though: Egg Nog ice cream.
WHOEVER UNLEASHED THIS SUPER POWER HAS BEEN SITTING ON SOMETHING FOR FAR TOO LONG!!!!
Being a bit of an ice cream connoisseur, I have my pros and cons regarding this brand of ice cream.
PROS:
- s'ice cream!
- it doesn't come in the wimpy haagen daas sized container (I tend to frown upon wee "gourmet" cartons of ice cream, as they're usually purchased by individuals who can restrict themselves to a measly little bowl of ice cream whenever they have a craving - way to have self control guys!!), she's hatched into a hefty 2L tub!!
- it combines my two favourite edible products in this world: ice cream, and egg nog

CONS:
.....





.........




SIKE!!!!

Don't forget that I get 10%!!!!!!

http://ucbswww.bank-banque-canada.ca/scripts/search_english.cfm

Being both sick, and bored allows you to explore avenues of the internet that you may have never otherwise utilized.
Terribly - none of my family members have cheese just sitting in the bank.

p.s.

Enjoying a nice long soak in a hot tub (after you've put a whole bottle of bubble bath in it) is difficult when you're completely sauced.
You get dizzy, nauseous, and generally irritated a few minutes into the experience.
However, being hung over in a hot tub is a whole other story.
GUESS WHO DINED AT THE KEG THIS WEEKEND!?!?!?
I FELT LIKE A MIDDLE AGED PROFESSIONAL AS I SIPPED FROM A WINE GLASS (PEPSI w/ NO ICE, YO!), SITTING IN THE KEG - OVERLOOKING NIAGARA FALLS, AND EATING RIIIBBSS!!!!!!!!!!
And what fucking genius created the mini bar in hotel rooms?!
WAY TO FORCE PEOPLE INTO BUYING $9 CANS OF COORS LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!

cleanin' up your own fuckin' sty is gratifying

Ever wake up, and feel like you live in a total pig pen?
You wait for that individual that takes up the other side of the bed to go about his weekend biz, and the second he leaves - THE CLEANING HAS BEGUN!!
I'm four hours in, and it looks like a tornado has visited my wee bachelor apartment.
Everything is piled on top of my bed, and the cat is sleeping on a pile of clothes in the closet (she's smarter than I give her credit for, as I'm sure she'd be deep in the pile on my bed, had she not scurried to the closet in order to escape).
I've scrubbed mysterious floor stains, I've organized all of my household cleaners,
I've even taken all my books off of my bookshelf, dusted them, and re-organized them, in a totally aesthetic manner.
Never do I have a minimal apartment cleaning session - it somehow always turns into one of those "gotta move all your furniture! IT'S TIME FOR CHANGE!!!" experiences.
If I successfully blog about my life tomorrow, it means that I've been able to dig my way out of my apartment.