SNAPPY FANGAZZ!
07.24.2003 | 3:54 PMATTENION ALL HEALTH CARE WORKERS:PLEASE DONT WAIT TIL THE END OF YOUR SHIFT TO GIVE MARY LOU THE SUPPOSITORY.
04.14.2003 | 2:58 PMTODAY I ALMOST KILLED A LOW RIDING SLIDER WITH THE LICENSE PLATE THAT READ "CHILLIN".MY BACK BUMPER FELL OFF AND CAUSED HIM TO SWERVE OFF THE ROAD.......OOPS.SORRY DUDE.
03.31.2003 | 5:20 PMI WENT TO THE BACK YARD TO FIND MY DOG CHOWING ON HALF A DEAD PIGEON.I ASSUME THE OTHER HALF IS DIGESTING THROUGH HER TUMMY AS WE SPEAK.WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A NORMAL DOG THAT ISNT INTO REALLY GROSS STUFF LIKE HER OWN POOP AND PLAYS NICE WITH THE OTHER DOGS?HER NAME IS LADYBIRD.BUT IVE GOTTEN IN THE HABBIT OF CALLING HER JUST 'LAD' LIKE PRONOUNCED 'LAID'.AND THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE 'DISE WE WERE TALKING AND I SAID TO JACOB,"THE FIRST TIME I GOT 'LAD' SHE PUKED ALL OVER MY BED."AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT I HAD JUST SAID WHEN THE TABLE NEXT TO US WAS PRACTICALLY ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING."THE FIRST TIME I GOT 'LAID' SHE PUKED ALL OVER MY BED."SO I JUST KIND OF PAUSED.AND SAT UP STRAIGHT.AND WENT WITH IT.....CUZ MISUNDERSTANDING IS FUNNY.
11.19.2002 | 2:29 PMYEAH,....SO "THE RING" IS SO SCARY.I COULDNT BARE SITTING THERE IN THE THEATER WITHOUT A WALL UP AGAINST MY BACK.I WASNT TRUSTING ANYONE SITTING IN BACK OF ME.THATS HOW SCARED I WAS. AND USUALLY I LOVE SHIT LIKE THAT BUT...HEY! SOME CHICK JUST WALKED BY THE CAFE WEARING MY HAT.THE EXACT SAME HAT THAT I LOST AT A PARTY A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.I GOTTA GOOOOOOO.......
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4 comments:
07.24.2003 | 3:54 PM
ATTENION ALL HEALTH CARE WORKERS:
PLEASE DONT WAIT TIL THE END OF YOUR SHIFT TO GIVE MARY LOU THE SUPPOSITORY.
04.14.2003 | 2:58 PM
TODAY I ALMOST KILLED A LOW RIDING SLIDER WITH THE LICENSE PLATE THAT READ "CHILLIN".
MY BACK BUMPER FELL OFF AND CAUSED HIM TO SWERVE OFF THE ROAD.
......
OOPS.
SORRY DUDE.
03.31.2003 | 5:20 PM
I WENT TO THE BACK YARD TO FIND MY DOG CHOWING ON HALF A DEAD PIGEON.
I ASSUME THE OTHER HALF IS DIGESTING THROUGH HER TUMMY AS WE SPEAK.
WHY CANT I JUST HAVE A NORMAL DOG THAT ISNT INTO REALLY GROSS STUFF LIKE HER OWN POOP AND PLAYS NICE WITH THE OTHER DOGS?
HER NAME IS LADYBIRD.
BUT IVE GOTTEN IN THE HABBIT OF CALLING HER JUST 'LAD' LIKE PRONOUNCED 'LAID'.
AND THE OTHER NIGHT AT THE 'DISE WE WERE TALKING AND I SAID TO JACOB,
"THE FIRST TIME I GOT 'LAD' SHE PUKED ALL OVER MY BED."
AND THEN I REALIZED WHAT I HAD JUST SAID WHEN THE TABLE NEXT TO US WAS PRACTICALLY ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING.
"THE FIRST TIME I GOT 'LAID' SHE PUKED ALL OVER MY BED."
SO I JUST KIND OF PAUSED.
AND SAT UP STRAIGHT.
AND WENT WITH IT.....
CUZ MISUNDERSTANDING IS FUNNY.
11.19.2002 | 2:29 PM
YEAH,....SO "THE RING" IS SO SCARY.
I COULDNT BARE SITTING THERE IN THE THEATER WITHOUT A WALL UP AGAINST MY BACK.
I WASNT TRUSTING ANYONE SITTING IN BACK OF ME.
THATS HOW SCARED I WAS.
AND USUALLY I LOVE SHIT LIKE THAT BUT...
HEY! SOME CHICK JUST WALKED BY THE CAFE WEARING MY HAT.
THE EXACT SAME HAT THAT I LOST AT A PARTY A COUPLE WEEKS AGO.
I GOTTA GOOOOOOO.......
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