HOT TUBBIN'

1 MORE DAY UNTIL WE'RE EATING PIZZA IN A HOT TUB!!!
YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LIKES HOT TUBS!??!


AFTER I AM AS WRINKLY AS A PRUNE, DUE TO OVER-HOT TUBBIN', I'M GOING TO GO DOWNSTAIRS TO THE CASINO, AND WIN MILLIONS, SO THAT I CAN FIND A CURE FOR THE LIL' DUDE ABOVE!



I WALKED BY A CONVENIENCE STORE LAST NIGHT - IS LOTTO 649 SERIOUSLY UP TO $33 MILLION!?!?!?
WINNING HUGE AMOUNTS OF MONEY WOULD HELP ME IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS:
- paying of my debts (BBBBOOOOOORRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!)
- outfitting my sweet pad in shit that make people puke they're so jealous
- buying a bike that doesn't make my legs cramp/spasm every time I hit a hill
- being able to purchase my friends wicked gifts

YOUR FINGERS BEING CROSSED ONLY MAKES IT MORE LIKELY THAT I WILL BUY YOU PREZZIES!!!!!!!!

In my night-tee!

How long has it been since YOU'VE been to the dentist?
For me, it was a cool 8+ years, that was finally met with a gracious gift of a trip to the dentist.
For the past 2 weeks now, I have been to the dentist more than a handful of times, and just yesterday we started the "repairative" treatments.
Not having been to the dentist for a prolonged period of time, I had thankfully forgotten all of the reasons why we fear the dentist.
But thanks to my recent visits, all of those fears have reappeared.
The second I sat down in "the chair," a dental dam type thing was shoved in my mouth, as the dentist told me:
"It's so that the loose bits of teeth that I drill out don't fall into your mouth, and you swallow them!"
DDUUHHH!!!!!
Freezing of my teeth took place.
Drilling also took place.
At one point, he stopped, made an audible sniffing noise, and questioned:
"Y'SMELL THAT??! THAT'S TOOTH DECAY!!"


Round #9586094802 is set for early February.
If you see me in the streets, buy me some jello - cool?!

WHO CHOSE THIS SNOOZEFEST!?!?!

When the announcer at President Obama's inauguration said "Please help us welcome a great American poet," my fingers were crossed that Snoop Dogg would roll out on stage....instead we got this:

http://www.elizabethalexander.net

SOMEONE BETTER GET FIRED FOR BOOKING HER!!!!!!!!!!!

People on deh subway be lookin'.....at your ugly boots!!

I always feel so defeated when winter comes around, and I'm forced to wear my big ol' winter boots.
Sure my feet are dry, and yeah - I still have all ten of my toes!
When you think about it, the "boot industry" must be a pretty tough place to make a living, as I've only really ever seen a handful of boots that I would rather wear than puke in!
Every morning, as I get ready to go to work, I usually put some amount of effort into my appearance - only to have it completely destroyed by the hideous things on my feet.....
The other three seasons of the year are fantastic. You have sandals when it's warm out. You have rubber boots when it's raining, and you have running shoes when you want to appear like you go to the gym as a career.
Warm, non-boot wearing weather cannot come soon enough.

"THIS IS MY JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!"

Being 3 hours early for work is kind of wicked.
I'm sitting here in my slippers, listening to The Essential HEART, mindin' my own bizzzz!
I could be peein'/doin' it/snoopin' on other peoples desks - AND THEY WOULDN'T BE THE WISER!!!!!!

I have also compiled a list of hobbies to undertake in the year 2009:
- the building / completion of several spectacular terrariums
- cowl making
- open an etsy site to "get rid of" the stuff I make all year long

Ï don't trust the meat...."

I don't know where this phenomenon started, but the whole "parent taking a picture of your naked child in the bathtub" thing...and now with the internet around, you're posting them on the internet for creeps like me to add them to their blog??!?!?!
Personally, I've seen pictures of both my brother, and I, in our childhood bathtub.
I had this awful bowlcut, and a remarkable bathing suit line tan.
My brother had these hilarious bubbles emmitting from the tub, which leads me to believe that he was passing gas at the time the photo was taken.
WHATEVER FLOATS YER BOAT, DUDE!!!